‘Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones’ is One of the Worst Films of the Year

Written by: Matt Molgaard

I’d heard rumors that The Marked Ones was a major step in the right direction for a fading franchise. It’s different, but crazy scary, like the first! I’d heard. That’s not accurate in the slightest. It’s a little different, and nowhere near scary. Not even close. In fact it is so distanced from frightening that it’s honestly boring.

My wife – an Hispanic woman, mind you – says to me after the flick ends: I think they just made that hoping to get beaners interested.

Given the fact that we’ve been married nearly 15 years, and we “make babies”, it’s probably safe for you to go ahead and assume I’m not racist. So believe me there’s no hatred coming from me when I say: I couldn’t agree with her statement more!! It’s the “Mexican Paranormal Activity” with the lamest supposed connection to the original story imaginable.

This is the gist (no bullshit):

Recently graduated youngsters drag camera around everywhere they go. They soon experience strange, seemingly paranormal phenomenon; suddenly a cult like horde of witches is in the mix and somebody’s being possessed. And then comes the most embarrassing excuse for a series connection imaginable: our final survivor suddenly leaps through some magical dimension or some shit, and surfaces in the home of the original family, fronted by Micah and Katie.

Yeah, I spoiled the shit out of the ending. It didn’t make a damn lick of sense, and I’m not remorseful in the least.

I’d thought the last Paranormal Activity film was the clear worst of the bunch, but The Marked Ones takes things to an entirely new low. Hands down one of the worst films of the year.

And I thought the downward spiral of the Saw franchise was sudden; Paranormal Activity is sinking like The Titanic.

Enough time and words wasted on this crap.

Rating: .5/5