New Reviews

‘Stitch’ Sucks, Plain and Simple (Review)

Written by: Matt Molgaard

Stitch had an awful lot of buzz going for it in the buildup to official arrival. Then the pic hit VOD, a handful of people caught the film and immediately realized that it’s a steaming pile of incoherent shit. The picture makes very, very little sense. The screenplay seems to be the work of a hyperactive schizophrenic who has no fucking clue what he’s attempting to do. It’s as though writer/director Ajai walked into the production blind, with a few notes on paper, a few B-movie “stars” and a couple bucks to throw around.

And trust me, those crumbs show: the pic really is an abomination.

stitch-furlong-stitched

There’s an attempt to paint a harrowing background with serious family troubles, but it falls flat. There’s a desire to create a frantic sense of terror in the picture, but it comes across as an underdeveloped student film in need of a lot of work. It’s just a ridiculously muddy production and unless you’re under the influence of some form of powerful hallucinogenic substance, you’re not likely to get a firm grasp on the story attempted to be relayed.

The synopsis reads clear, and easily understandable: Parents grieving the loss of their young daughter head to the deep desert for a healing ritual, where they unexpectedly release sinister forces. I suppose that’s… kind of accurate. There is a couple attempting to deal with the passing of their child… everything else is as agonizingly confusing as an Alzheimer’s patient attempting to communicate yesterday’s activities, to the most minute detail.

But again, that synopsis is horribly deceiving.

While I like Edward Furlong, he’s got nothing to work with here, and he completely phones in his performance. It’s hard to blame him, working with material like this, but hey – a paycheck it a paycheck, and sometimes you’ve got to step out on a limb to pay the bills. As for the remainder of the cast, they’re entirely disposable.

I’ll be honest: I’m done discussing this clunker. If you want to get a more detailed assessment of the picture, you can read my thorough breakdown over at best-horror-movies. I’m not really sure you should waste any time following up on this one, however.

Complete stinker.

Rating: .5/5

About The Overseer (2283 Articles)
Author of Say No to Drugs, writer for Blumhouse, Dread Central, Horror Novel Reviews and Addicted to Horror Movies.

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