Written by: Matt Molgaard
Ever wondered if, or how long you might be able to survive in the world currently inhabited by Rick Grimes, Daryl Dixon and company? The dangers are paramount, and one single second of daydreaming could easily lead to a sizable chunk of flesh ripped from your neck, blood sprouting in violent crimson gusts; mists and heavy drops drenching face, hair and clothing. I doubt my chances of survive would stand too tall, but there are a few celebrities out there that just may be able to provide enough assistance to ensure at the least, one more day of survival.
If I’m following any celebrity in the hopes of surviving such a dismal and violent world, it would be one of, if not all of these warriors listed below.
Celebrities cast into the world of The Walking Dead… the thought sure as hell makes the wheels spin. Who really could make it? I think I’ve got a few appropriate answers. Check out 15 thespians who could more than handle a post-apocalyptic world where the shambling remains of what once were human beings constantly walk down the still-living, craving that tasty bit of flesh.
Charles S. Dutton: Some may not realize that Mr. Dutton once served time behind bars. We’re talking well over a decade. He’s since turned his life around and established himself a fan favorite. But if I’m looking for anyone to watch my back when the going gets tough, I’m looking directly at Charles S. Dutton. No walker is taking this man down!
Tom Hardy: Tom Hardy sports a demeanor that says, I’m not just a bad ass in front of the cameras, I’ll tear you apart any time, any place. The man’s athletic nature only supports the idea that this man could remove hearts from chests with his bare hands… or at least brains from craniums.
Josh Brolin: When you look a man in the eyes, and you don’t see an abundance of life there, it’s probably a safe bet that he’s one dangerous dude. After checking out Brolin’s work in Oldboy, I’m completely convinced the man could rip an esophagus from the unsuspecting without so much as a hint of apprehension.
Michelle Rodriguez: Outside of those sleazy broads on all the female focused reality shows in which gallons of liquor are emptied into hollow shells of human beings, few woman are as intimidating as Michelle Rodriguez. This woman will tear a man apart, and her apparent lack of a filter leads me to believe she’d do just the same to a horde of zombies.
Danny Trejo: I’m sure Dany Trejo tangled with many a living monster during his time in the penitentiary. If that doesn’t prepare a man for remorseless killing, I’m not certain what will. Old school, yes. Highly experienced, and no doubt crafty… I’m betting so!
Mark Wahlberg: Mark Wahlberg is something of a robot. You’ll see him smile from time to time on his new reality show, but aside from that this dude is all business. Anyone man enough to pound on a heavily weighted punching bag while the world watches, is a dude willing to decapitate walkers… probably with his bare hands.
Sean Penn: Sean Penn is and always has been a maniac. This dude will clean your clock without so much as a second thought. Just ask his former love interests. Anyone this insane is a figure equipped to obliterate zombies!
Amber Heard: Amber Heard made her way into the Hollywood folds as a cute, innocent piece of work. She’s since changed that image dramatically. She was resilient as they come in The Ward; sported bigger balls than most men in Drive Angry; proved completely remorseless in All the Boys Love Mandy Lane; and seemed to be the only sensible character in the Stepfather reboot. No walkers are catching this looker unaware.
Sylvester Stallone: We’ll keep this one good and short: Sly is a genuine maniac. Tell him he can’t perform his own stunts and he’s likely to punch you in the face. The man’s unwavering heart and brute strength see him surviving a war with shambling corpses.
Adrien Brody: Here’s what people don’t understand about Adrien Brody: the dude has juice. Lots of juice. He didn’t grow up in a tranquil community, he grew up rough. There are a few videos out there in which Brody showcases moxie like you wouldn’t believe. The dude looks to be fearless and that’s the exact kind of individual you want flanking you on the battle field.
Clint Eastwood: Let’s be honest here, Clint would essentially by the Hershel of the group. Rugged, aged but profoundly wise, and he doesn’t have a lick of quit in him. No way Eastwood doesn’t survive the apocalypse.
Noomi Rapace: Noomi Rapace has the look of a fighter. She may not be an imposing figure, and she may have quite the sensitive side to her, but at the end of the day she’s bad ass. Any woman willing to apply a wild amount of think stables in her belly in the interest of survival is a woman worth trusting your life with.
Daniel Day Lewis: I’m entirely convinced that Daniel Day Lewis is a mean sonofabitch. Mean enough in fact to totally dismiss care, be it for walking, talking human, or groaning and decaying zombie. This dude just couldn’t care less, and that hollow look in his eyes completes the package. I’ve got a feeling Lewis’ wooden club would run out of space for the murder tallies he so likes to adorn his nasty weapon with.
Harrison Ford: You want it simple? Harrison’s a bad ass. Plain and simple.
Sigourney Weaver: Despite all of the genuinely tough performers to make this list, as a knowledgeable fan, I wouldn’t dare leave Sigourney’s side. Those aliens she’s been tangling with for decades? They look exponentially more dangerous than a legion of slow, uninspired undead. I’m picturing it now, Ripley finding a way to assemble some massive robot with which to destroy and endless amount of rotting bags of bones.
What celebrity would you deem fit to survive The Walking Dead?