The Funhouse: Truth is, we don’t know much of anything about the planned reboot of a Tobe Hooper cult classic. Universal and StrikeForce Entertainment are the entities behind the concept, and given the entertainment value of the original, there’s real hope that Universal may deliver us a fine contemporary piece. We’ll see how that pans out.
It: We all know Stephen King’s It has long been overdue for a reboot. While the original television mini-series had some stellar moments, it’s aged in embarrassing fashion. It’s nearly unwatchable it has aged so badly; and the only real reason to tune in is Tim Curry’s depiction of Pennywise. Well, we’re going to get a chance to see this one done right (hopefully!) soon enough. Warner Brothers in association with Lin Pictures and Vertigo Entertainment are working hard to bring this to life.
Poltergeist: The new Poltergeist remake has a lot of great things going for it. Gil Kenan, Sam Rockwell, Jared Harris and Rosemarie DeWitt are all active members of the cast or crew, and that’s great news. Believe it or not, this could be an amazing remake and although I’m still of the opinion that a masterpiece like this needs no remodeling, at least we know there are mindful hands in the pot.
Motel Hell: Motel Hell is one of the most absurd horror films ever shot. Honestly. Take a gander at Kevin Connor’s original trip-out flick and you’ll immediately understand that some ideas are just preposterous… and a lot of fun. Well, MGM is whipping up a modern take on old Farmer Vincent, and Steven C. Miller is said to be attached. Could be a beauty!
Who Can Kill a Child: Are they seriously remaking this film? Is this still even planned? The original was creepy to the tenth power and totally, totally unnerving. We’re talking some unsettling shit. If this reboot happens, I’ll keel over dead. But don’t worry, I’ll somehow perform self-resurrection, because I’ve got to see this to believe it!
Maniac Cop: Maniac Cop was such an underrated film it’s genuinely absurd. It’s also a sketchy enough production to totally and completely warrant a reboot. Ed Brubaker, who wrote Captain America: The Winter Soldier will handle script duties, and that alone is enough to instate hope.
Plan 9 from Outer Space: I’m one of those few who absolutely cherishes Ed Wood’s so-bad-it’s-great Plan 9 from Outer Space. The unintentional comedy is great, the props are ludicrous, the acting is embarrassing and the story itself is as clear as the windows of century old abandoned auto-repair shop. And it’s all as charming as a first date with your first true love! Darkstone Entertainment will remake the film with its founder John Johnson directing.
Shocker: As much as I can dig Wes Craven’s train wreck known as Shocker, I would find immense gratification in seeing the flick remade with a much darker tone. Oddly enough, Craven himself has expressed interest in seeing this one revived. I’d buy that for a dollar.
Suspiria: Suspiria is one of the greatest Italian productions ever shot. Long before Dario Argento had abandoned his desire to craft intelligent, suspenseful films, he delivered this gem, and it would go on to gain recognition among cinematic pundits as one of horror’s finest offerings. But make no mistake, there are holes to be sealed. Rumor has it David Gordon will direct and Natalie Portman will star. We can only hope!
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: Kent Nichols is currently attached to a remake of the outlandish B-movie Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. The original – while fun – is anything but a masterpiece, and there are plenty of ways to take this piece and improve it, in dramatic fashion. Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine are working on a script, from which Nichols will direct.