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‘The Haunting of Helena’ Fails on Most Levels (Review)

1370372269HauntingofHelena007 Written by: Matt Molgaard Directed by: Christian Bisceglia, Ascanio Malgarini Cast: Harriet MacMasters-Green, Sabrina Jolie Perez, Jarreth J. Merz Is The Haunting of Helena a Tooth Fairy flick, haunting flick, or possession flick? That is the question. Really... Just what the hell is this movie, other than an example of a film apparently battling a split personality disorder? Directors Christian Bisceglia (who also pens the script) and Ascanio Malgarini can’t seem to decide precisely what kind of movie they’d like to make, and it bogs the production down terribly. As soon as we’re getting comfortable with the idea of a Tooth Fairy flick Bisceglia and Malgarini decide to lean in the direction of an outright haunting piece... before they venture down the path of possession, where they ultimately bury their own production.

The Haunting of Helena

Sophia (Harriet MacMasters-Green) and her daughter Helena (Sabrina Jolie Perez) move into a new place that seems rather comfy, initially. But a vintage cabinet holds a presence that’s hungry, for flesh and teeth. This entity, if you will, wastes no time in climbing inside of Helena’s head, encouraging the youngster to help her find her teeth, which were yanked from her mouth in an act of ominous torture by her husband decades ago. Apparently she needs these teeth (which have been hidden) to be freed from her confines – the cabinet in which she was ultimately locked in and left to die. Helena obliges, against her will, only to discover that this ghostly old bitch doesn’t want to be freed from anything, she just wants to kill, her incisors the primary weapon of choice.

The film has promise. But you can’t fit a traveling carny lineup in a VW bug. It just doesn’t work, and all it really does is confuse the viewer. Within a half hour I’d lost all interest in the film. An hour in and I just wanted the damned thing to end. By the time it does end, I wanted the Tooth Fairy/psycho ghost to come for me, just so I could be rid of all things The Haunting of Helena, forever! I mean, come on – look at this review: It’s about as inspired as this perplexing amalgamation of random ideas that some clown decided would make for a frightening movie.

The Haunting of Helena isn’t frightening. It isn’t enjoyable. It isn’t gratifying in any way. This is just another project that never should have been made. Having said that, I’ll veer away from the 1 point rating based on the strength of Harriet MacMasters-Green and Jarreth J. Merz’s (Robert, Sophia’s estranged love interest) sound performances. They’re competent thespians who unfortunately got involved in a very muddled production.

Rating: 2/5

About The Overseer (2283 Articles)
Author of Say No to Drugs, writer for Blumhouse, Dread Central, Horror Novel Reviews and Addicted to Horror Movies.

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