New Reviews

‘Breeders’ (1986) Rocks if you’re Looking for a Beer Companion (Review)

Breeders

Written by: Matt Molgaard

Directed by: Tim Kincaid

Cast: Teresa Farley, Lance Lewman, Frances Raines

Breeders is an almost interesting twist on the old school invasion theme. Plenty of New York’s virgin women are being accosted by mysterious strangers. Even worse, these bold confrontations quickly escalate into full blown vicious rape. None of the sexual assault victims are actually killed, but there is a downright terrifying man in a lubricated rubber suit (yes, you should laugh at that mental image) running around randomly killing plenty of other New Yorkers (including a homeless woman… come on you heartless bastards). The women who have been raped aren’t killed because, obviously – they’re carriers, just bodies with the sole purpose of reproduction. One of NYPD’s… finest (I’m being nice here), Detective Andriotti (Lance Lewman) enlists the assistance of Dr. Gamble Pace (Teresa Farley), who’s been monitoring the incoming rape victims, in the hopes of aiding the detective in solving this strange murderous mystery.

There are plenty of minor plot details that ultimately (and thankfully) sew the loose fabrics together, but most of those details are so goofy they’re actually worth not reading about. However, approaching this review with that kind of mindset… well, hell – maybe the review should be done right about… now.

Unfair? Perhaps.

B-movie fanatics, please do not bombard me with hate mail.

Buy some beer for this one. Even at only 77 minutes running time, you’ll likely need it to make it through Breeders, which boasts goofy b-movie appeal in abundance, but fails to deliver anything of true substance. It’s the movie you watch when your video library has been thoroughly excavated, or you’ve got a 12-pack sitting untouched in the refrigerator. Goofy, and not to be taken serious, there are a few scenarios that empower Breeders. I just hope you’re thirsty.

This one avoids a dreadful rating on the strength of unintentional comedy and a fair dose of nudity.

Rating: 2.5/5

breeders

About The Overseer (2283 Articles)
Author of Say No to Drugs, writer for Blumhouse, Dread Central, Horror Novel Reviews and Addicted to Horror Movies.

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