Written by: Wesley Thomas
Horror movies are a great hobby or passion for millions of people worldwide. We can watch the horror, tension, blood, guts, action, nightmares and general entertainment. But being in the horror movie, is quite a different experience. For the characters, giving that the majority are killed, you will most likely die in a painful and sadistic way. There are hundreds of hellish fiends just waiting to feast on your brain, flesh, blood, bones, eyeballs, or just want to put you through a grinder!
When you are faced with such a terrifying bunch of monsters, how do you survive? How would one outlive a seemingly unstoppable and psychotic killing machine? Well here is my full-proof list of what to pack in preparation for a horror movie!
Here is my ‘Horror Movie Survival Kit’.
Firstly, you need a big-ass weapon for the larger predator or hulk-like monster, so a chainsaw seems like it would be useful, so pack that.
But wait, what if they are huge but also very fast and agile? You don’t wanna get too close! So how about a crossbow? Yeah, put that in for good measure. Maybe you should get in some practice shots now? Be sure to call Daryl for some advice, if he isn’t too busy killing zombies that is.
Then let’s not forget werewolves can’t handle silver, and vampires hate God. So how about we throw in a pure silver cross? You know, kill two birds with one stone kind of deal? How about the kind where a knife pops out the end in case we catch the fiend in a moment of weakness and have to take advantage. Yeah, do it. Worst case scenario, head to a graveyard. Buffy knows how to handle crosses, but more importantly, can open a can of whoop-ass onto vampires and werewolves.
Phew, all this planning is making me hungry. Speaking of which, you are sure to need some food to keep your strength up. But you can’t afford to lug around a full shopping bag. You need something with plenty of protein and carbs but lightweight. How about a protein bar or ten? One bite from a protein-loaded bar will keep you going for a few hours, especially if you get the energy variety.
But wait, what about dehydration? Take not only a refillable, light container for water, but also get a small bunch of sachets. Inside is powder that doubles the hydration-benefits of water. These are used after an illness to replenish fluids. Right now though, we need to survive the night, and we need to stay hydrated for that to happen, so ditch the boxes they come in and just take a few sachets. Hold the phone, throw in a water filtration kit. Because we never know if clean water will be available.
What if you get stranded and need to stay warm to fend off pneumonia? Wear heat-insulating materials, full length, and also shove a sleeping bag and one-man tent into your survival guide. Don’t forget thick socks and underwear, if it gets too hot you can always disrobe, should you be so lucky.
Wait, aren’t we forgetting the most crucial tool of all? That most characters need? A torch. Yes, we will more than likely be caught in darkness and need light shedding onto the situation.
Why bother with a phone? The battery always dies or there is no reception. How about instead, we try a radio? The kind that will reach a wide frequency and alert many people of your dire situation.
Last thoughts, let’s go solar with as many things as possible, in the rare chance we are in a daylight horror situation.
Last but not least, a gun is essential. Just be sure not to shoot yourself accidentally. Just in case the survival kit is ruined or stolen by the crafty killer, make this a small gun and keep it strapped to your leg. Make sure it isn’t too bulky and obvious you have a concealed firearm. Think Sydney Prescott in Scream 3!
That’s it folks. Good luck, and remember: don’t go investigate that strange noise, everyone is a suspect, and don’t have sex!