Written by: Daniel Hadley
Director: Andre de Campos Mello, Marcos DeBrito
Cast: Fancisco Gaspar, Leonardo Miggiorin, Paul Vespucio
So, we open to a blood covered clown being interrogated by what I imagine is supposedly a grizzled detective. But with dialogue along the lines of “you left that house with a guilty look on your face,” it was hard to take him too seriously. Yeah, he may have had a guilty look, but he was also covered in blood and he had just left the scene of several murders, so stop beating around the bush and charge him. I’m sorry, but when you have a guy playing hardball with a detective after leaving a crime scene covered in blood I just don’t buy it.
So, we cut to some young people (some them look to be in their late-30s) who are headed out to a house in the sticks for a good time. And… I’ll brush past the overused plot because it’s somewhat a staple of horror movies these days. The thing that immediately brought this movie down for me was a character named Beto, he is a fucking asshole and the worst kind of asshole. He’s obnoxious, loud and he never shuts the fuck up. He’s seemingly the comic relief but the juvenile attempts at humour the movie throws our way are laughable in the worst kind of way. For example, when they get to the house and the owner shows them around and the group is brought into the bedroom, Beto immediately jumps on the bed and proceeds to hump the mattress. Do people like this really exist? Am I really that sheltered? Well no they don’t. And No, no I’m not.
You know, I don’t enjoy ripping into movies like this, I really don’t. I want movies to be good and I know making a movie isn’t easy, so I was willing give this movie somewhat of a pass seeing as how it’s a Brazilian movie and cultures differ from country to country. What I find funny here, in Brazil may only be shrug worthy, so I plodded on through. After the group are shown around the house we cut to a big guy in a pig mask feeding human body parts to his animals before clubbing a pig to death. We’re 20 minutes into the movie, you’re really going to blow your load that early? These scenes seem really forced and for any horror fan it’s really nothing we haven’t seen before. We’re then treated to a scene where the “scary” farmer butchers the pig, serenaded with this over the top heavy breathing. I don’t know how I would have done this better, maybe a single take, slow zoom from behind as he silently carves into the pig or better yet don’t show it, let the reveal of the killer happen naturally instead of crowbarring him in at the twenty minute mark (he isn’t the only killer but it was still unnecessary).
As for the rest of the plot, there is a duo of street performing clowns who take it upon themselves to rob our protagonists at the newly rented party house. So we have a brother and sister murder team and a duo of clowns all descending on this house out in the sticks with the wrap around being the police interrogation. Now, this movie would have been somewhat interesting if the two killers had been kept a secret and we as the audience were led to believe that the clowns were the ones doing all the killing, but as we have already seen the obvious killer doing his thing with a pig in the first act, that opportunity had already been squandered. It wouldn’t have saved the movie, but it would have at least been an interesting hook.
So do we at least get some good gore? No, we don’t. The same poor CGI blood that I swear is a god damned plague to horror movies is on full display here, but in the sake of fairness I’ll mention the terrible practical blood too, you know, the stuff that is far too runny and isn’t quite the right colour, we get a that too. The editing is also pretty lacklustre and there is a weird filter thrown over the film that I found very distracting. There are constant fake cigarette burns along with some very strange transitional shots. It’s a mess, and it was hard to get into the movie when I was constantly reminded (through poor editing tricks) that this was indeed just a movie. The performances on the whole weren’t terrible but none of the character were very likable anyway, so I was just waiting for them to die.
Massacre County is a juvenile film with a terrible sense of humour (the fact that the overweight girl is the butt of many jokes should be an indicator, plus the constant dick, puke and sex jokes), poor pacing and bad gore effects. Needless to say, I’m not recommending this one.