New Wesley Snipes Flick ‘Armed Response’ Will Leave You Speechless (Review)

Directed by: John Stockwell

Cast: Wesley Snipes, Anne Heche, Dave Annable

When you read a synopsis that basically promises soldiers running into horrific villains in a military compound, it’s easy to find yourself a little excited. Something about the whole concept screams I love you ‘80s! Unfortunately, I think the only thing Armed Response screams is We really miss you in Blade, Snipes, but this will have to pay the rent next month!

Armed Response was such a dreadful letdown that it’s hard to muster the desire to even review the film, which does center on a group of operatives who head to investigate the whereabouts of another team that were supposed to be working on some top-secret mumbo jumbo at an isolated and abandoned military facility, but suddenly went silent. Snipes’ character, Isaac leads a new crew to investigate and they learn that some strange supernatural entity has wiped out the other crew, and will likely do the very same to this little rescue troupe.

The idea is there – original or not – but the execution is dreadful. The dialog exceeds wretched in spots, and the whole cast look as though they’re either trying to deliver their lines without laughing, or trying to deliver their lines without nodding off. It doesn’t do too much to get the audience riled up.

We get extremely little in the way of a big showdown with the flick’s nemesis. We don’t see much of the flick’s nemesis. Hell, this thing is such an afterthought it’s easy to forget that – at some point – some form of antagonist is going to make its presence known, and toe the line with whatever humans are still breathing.

Armed Response took a lot of fortitude and determination to sit through. The film opens in first gear and only at the point of climax decides to shift to second. Never mind third, or fourth…

If dull, uninspired films are for you, then by all means, give this one a look. If you’ve made a promise to yourself to see every Wesley Snipes movie that ever comes out, then, go look into it. If you want to avoid throwing 90 minutes of your life into an abyss where garbage swirls endlessly, then don’t even contemplate looking into Armed Response.

Rating: 1.5/5