‘Don’t F*ck in the Woods’ is Insane and Hilarious, Terrible and Wondrous (Review)

Directed by: Shawn Burkett

Cast: Brittany Blanton, Ayse Howard, Roman Jossart

With a title like Don’t F*ck in the Woods, you’re probably safe in making a few assumptions… like, predicting the inclusion of gratuitous sex scenes, the location in which the story will take place and the likelihood that people are going to die. This flick is quite heavy with all of the above, but it’s got a few other qualities going for it that… well, probably won’t surprise you.

There’s really no need to get too heavy on detail, as the film itself isn’t heavy on detail. 20-somethings are in the woods and every time they have sex, a man in a rubber suit pops up to off them in a handful of different ways.

That’s the whole plot, plain and simple.

The acting is never terrific, and the script with which they work is quite messy. The villain is absolutely hilarious and the protagonists are flat clichés we’ve all met a million times before. So why then is the flick so damn awesome? Because it’s all intentional.

Writer/director, Shawn Burkett seems to completely understand that he’s assembled a deliberately outrageous picture. It’s designed to enjoy while you sit back with a buddy and a lot of beer. Hell, it’s exactly the kind of movie you create a beer drinking game for. It’s never supposed to be taken too seriously.

So, once again I propose the question: why did I enjoy this unashamed, exploitative nutso film? Well, probably because I’ve been watching movies like Get Out, Cruel Summer, The Blackcoat’s Daughter and A Dark Song, as of late. Those are all extremely intense, straight-forward films with little to no comedic relief. They’re all top-notch features, but I needed a break on the brain – I needed something wicked goofy but plenty fun, and Don’t F*ck in the Woods fit the bill perfectly. It provided the brief mental vacation I needed.

There are technical hiccups all over the place, but if you find yourself wrapped up in the movie and you’re nitpicking, you might be missing the point. If you find yourself laughing at the dialogue, cracking up at the uber-nutty fellow in the rubber suit, or counting the clichés while grinning like a madman, then good – you got it, and you understand that this is a project less about technical refinement and more about cheap, enjoyable thrills.

If you’re uptight about your film, and if you find it insulting to inject humor into a genre piece, or if you happen to judge B-movies long before ever actually viewing them, this isn’t a movie that’s going to work for you. Now, if you’re a laid-back fan with a love for laughs, both intentional and not, and have a passion for spirited indie pics with heart, Don’t F*ck in the Woods is just the movie for you.

Rating: 3/5