New Reviews

VERSUS: 5 Dream Showdowns Between Horror Icons

Michael Myers vs. Jason Voorhees

Michael_Myers

Michael Myers

6’2”

225 lbs.

Weapon of Choice: Steak Knife

Strengths: Durability, Determination, Experience

Weaknesses: Slow, Limited Weaponry

Jason_Voorhees_(0)

Jason Voorhees

6’3.5”

255 lbs.

Weapon of Choice: Machete

Strengths: Durability, Determination, Experience, Diverse Kill Tactics

Weaknesses: Slow, Easily Manipulated

The battle of the silent slaughterers, this is about as tough to call as it gets. Let’s all be real with ourselves: these monsters are immortal. If you impale Jason Voorhees, he slides the blade out, a warm knife to cold butter. If you cut Michael Myers’ head off, he picks it back up and coolly repositions it atop his neck. So how in the world do you determine a victor in a battle of beasts capable of battling until the earth has been overrun by zombies?

Neither “man” is agile, and neither is generally fast (Derek Mears is gonna be forced to sit this one out), but Jason has shown a more versatile assault over the years. He might take your head clean off your shoulders, he might bash your sleeping bag against a giant oak, you still in it. He’s also the owner of a weapon that covers much more distance than a steak knife.

How we turn this one into a solid story is a mystery to me, but if Freddy and Jason can find a way to tangle, Myers should certainly be able to formulate a plan to inject himself into the arena. The battle stretches on and on, but I’m predicting a complete head-to-toe dismemberment for Voorhees. How long it takes Michael to put himself back together dictates the length of time we’re forced to await Michael Myers vs. Jason Voorhees 2.

CONTINUE THE FANTASY MATCHUPS ON THE NEXT PAGE!

About The Overseer (2283 Articles)
Author of Say No to Drugs, writer for Blumhouse, Dread Central, Horror Novel Reviews and Addicted to Horror Movies.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: